This is the first Mother’s Day we have celebrated in the states since 1999 when my firstborn, Hannah, was 2 months old. The day was a pleasant suprise! Mothers were celebrated and honored at church on Sunday morning….. during worship by the teenagers who gave all mothers in the assembly roses, in the children’s Bible classes as afterward my children proudly presented me certificates for mother of the year and coupons, and even at the Mexican restaurant where we went for lunch where each mother was presented with a beautiful fresh rose! AND, David and my children gave me 30 beautiful tulips and I got to buy a new outfit for church! I know this is not every mother’s experience on Mother’ Day in the U.S., but I felt honored and loved and thankful for the support networks that exist in this culture that allow a society at large to honor mothers. I am so grateful that God has granted me the privilege 4 times over of being mother to 4 unique and beautiful bearers of His image. Praise and thanksgiving to the Lord!
Well, here we are again! Back in the states as a family of 6 this time. I’m slipping back into the pace of fast living that we are streamlined into every time we return, but I’ve decided I must make conscious rest stops along the way. I don’t want to miss what God is trying to show me or ways He is directing me, or people he is putting in my path for me to bless or be blessed by. So far my eyes still feel wide open. My prayer is that I’m not lulled into spiritual sleep, as this culture tends to do to me. Can I remember the me that used to exist primarily in this culture but not pretend I’m still that person? Can I “fit in” enough to not repel everyone but keep the integrity of continuing to walk down the road of life in Christ that God is leading me on? I know that by the power of Christ in me the answer is yes. I refuse to put even a small percent of my hope in cafe’ mochas, climate control, polite strangers, or carpeted floors. I will not let the god of comfort creep into my heart. I will claim like Paul “I have learned to be content whatever circumstances I am in.” I can say this because in my heart of hearts, the place where my worship stems from, Jesus is ALL to me. I thank Him for the blessings. I praise Him for the trials. I love Him because, as the Kabiye people say, “He bought my head”. He is the only source of life. He’s proven this to me over and over again and I will not partake of death as if I thought anything in this world held any bit of life within it without it coming from Jesus Himself, the author and creator of the world alongside the Father.
“The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it. The world and all its peoples belong to Him.” I love being able to see family and friends. I love the lilacs and tulips and orchids and evergreens. I love people who look healthy in their walk with the Lord. And I love spiritual discernment the Lord gives me to recognize the looks of defeat in the faces of others that lead me to pray for them as they’ve allowed the evil one some reign in their hearts these past years since we’ve been gone. I love holding hands with my husband openly. I love the delight on my children’s faces at new things they experience and new people they begin to love. America and Africa. Two places I love equally for some of the same reasons and for many different reasons. I’m glad to be here for this season, and I’m so thankful for God allowing us to return to Africa when this season is over. Please pray for us to be a blessing and to be blessed while we are here, all for the glory of God!
Since 2004 our family has celebrated the Passover Feast each year the week before Easter Sunday. Our Seder celebrates the traditional Jewish remembrance of how God delivered the Israelites out of slavery. But most of all we celebrate what Jesus’ sacrifice did for us in allowing God to pass over our sins and reconcile us to Him. I did some research online 5 years ago and picked and chose from many different Seders to come up with a shortened and meaningful version that fit our family of young children. This year, we are celebrating Passover as a team community with our children and I am very excited to share altogether in this time of remembrance for what God has done. The Jewish Passover was instituted by God to teach future generations about what God had done in delivering the Israelites from slavery. In the same way, we want to use this time each year to remind our children how God has ultimately delivered us, as His people from every nation, from slavery to sin.
We have written everything down in script form this year since there are so many of us and a lot of children. Each child has their own question to answer. In our Seder the adults will take turns asking the questions and also read the scriptures.
For interested persons, here is our script below:
Set Up:
One plate in the center of the table with Lamb, haroseth, parsley, bitter herbs, and salt water. One large round of unleavened bread.
For everyone: A portion of lamb, haroseth, parsley, bitter herbs, and extra unleavened bread to eat.
A loaf of yeast bread (hametz) to find and get rid of
pillows to sit on around low tables
Grape juice, a glass for each person
Scriptures
Andrea: (Before children enter, Hide hametz – yeast bread- around the room)
David: “Why is this night different from all other nights?”
Elijah: “We celebrate the Passover to remember the Israelites’ slavery to the Egyptians and how God delivered them. And we remember our slavery to sin and how God delivered us through Jesus Christ.”
David: Read passage about yeast and sin I Corinthians 5:7-8
Children go about and find leavened bread and throw it away
David: “What does the yeast in this bread represent?”
All children: sin
Matt M: (Break one of the pieces of unleavened bread in half. This is the Afikommen. Adult hides one half somewhere in the room. Later the children will look for this at the conclusion of the meal)
Matt: Read the story of the slaves in Egypt and the first passover. (Exodus 12:1-14, 21-32, 50)
(ladies pass out bitter herbs and parsley/salt water)
Matt: “Why do we eat bitter herbs tonight?”
Asher: “Because they remind us of the bitterness of slavery.”
Mark: “Why do we dip parsley in salt water?”
Michal: “Because parsley reminds us of spring and the salty tears the slaves cried.”
Everyone eat the herbs
(ladies dish out portions of haroseth)
David: “Why do we eat haroseth?”
Gabriel: “Because it reminds us of the mortar and the bricks that the slaves were forced to make when they lived in Egypt.”
Everyone eats haroseth
(ladies dish out portions of lamb)
Nicole: “Why do we eat lamb?”
Maddie: “Because the Israelites sacrificed a perfect lamb on the night the angel of death passed over the land of Egypt. They put its blood on their doorposts (the top and the sides) and the angel of death passed over their household. The firstborn of their household were not killed.”
Everyone eats lamb.
(ladies pass out unleavened bread)
Andrea: “And why do we eat unleavened bread?”
Abby: “Because in haste the Israelites prepared their bread the night before they were to be delivered from Egypt. In the same way we eat this bread and remember that yeast represents sin and we want our bodies to be pure before the Lord.”
Matt H: “Jesus helped us see the true meaning of all of these parts of the passover meal. When we eat the bitter herbs we think of slavery. You see, we were also slaves before we began to follow Jesus. What were we enslaved to?”
Gabe and Asher: “Sin”
Matt M.: “When we eat parsley dipped in salt water we think about newness in life and tears of the slaves. Why did we shed tears before we began to follow Jesus?”
Aidan: “Because we were slaves to sin”
Becky: When we eat Haroseth we think about the mortar the slaves used to make bricks for the Egyptians. And we also made our own bricks when we were in slavery to sin. What were those bricks?
Hannah: sins that we built around us like bricks making a wall. Sins like lying, hatred, pride etc.
Mark: Read the scripture about Jesus as the perfect passover lamb (John 1:29, 1 Cor 5:7)
Mark.: “Who is the true and perfect passover lamb who was sacrificed for all of our sins?”
All the Children: “Jesus.”
Matt M: “Now let’s look for the Afikommen hidden around the room” when it is found, ask this question:
Matt M. “What does this bread represent to us now?”
all children: “Jesus’ Body”
Matt M.: “This is the mystery hidden before the beginning of time…in Christ!”
David: Read the last supper account. (Luke 22:14-20)
Break the bread into pieces and pass the plate around the table for each person to partake.
David: “And as we eat this bread now, let’s think about the sacrifice that Jesus made by offering himself on the cross to take us out of the slavery of our sins. “
(Pass out grape juice.)
Becky: “As we drink this fruit of the vine, let’s think about Jesus’ blood that he shed for us. When the Father God sees Jesus’ blood on our hearts he passes over our sins and does not kill us.”
Mark: “When you see me take a sip, you may take a sip of your juice. We will take 4 drinks together as the Jews did and then you can drink the rest of your juice at the end.”
Mark: “The first sip represents Freedom”
Grace: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5;1
-everyone sips
Mark: “The second sip represents Deliverance”
Nicole: “I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation. Psalm 40:10”
-everyone sips-
Mark: “The third sips represents Redemption”
Matt H: “We are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24”
-everyone sips-
Mark: “The fourth sip represents Release”
Andrea: “But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit. Romans 7:6”
-everyone sips-
David: Let’s Sing together “There is a Redeemer”
David: Jesus redeemed us from our sins. Let’s go around and each say one word that describes who Jesus is.
Matt M.: Final Prayer(s)
*Recipes:
Haroseth
6 peeled apples, shredded 1 Cup finely chopped walnuts
3 Tbsps honey 3 Tbsps grape juice
2 tsps ground cinnamon -mix all ingredients together and refrigerate
Unleavened Bread
4 Cups Flour 1 to 1 1/3 Cups ice water
1 1/2 Cups shortening
Preheat Oven to 325 degrees. Cut shortening into flour; add enough water to make a dough ball. Roll a small amount of dough very thin on a well-floured board. Prick dough with fork tongs. Bake on cookie sheet until done, about 11 minutes. (This should make multiple pieces of flat bread)
“Be everything to me!”
This was the heart prayer I prayed every night for the first 4 nights of our survey trip to Rwanda this past November. Throughout the tearful nights of prayer during those days of extreme sickness for most of our family I felt there was something far reaching in this prayer, not just for my heart alone. It wasn’t until returning to Togo that I began to see this was the prayer God was giving me to pray for every Rwandan citizen. I know God has this desire in his heart – the desire to be everything to all of those who claim to follow him- but I felt this cry was what God specifically wants to hear from all of the hurting in Rwanda.
As I began to realize that this was the central issue of all struggles in my own heart, I became aware that this desire for God to be everything is the only answer to the healing and renewing of every human heart.
Here is what God revealed to me during my intense times of prayer while my family slept in the early hours of those nights. If God has ever been EVERYTHING to me, the moments in time have been few and far between. He has many times been MOST EVERYTHING, or at the very least SOMETHING. I don’t recall a time when He has been nothing to me since I began to follow Him. But to be EVERYTHING means that all other things are nothing compared with Him…that He is the one desire of my heart, that my heart clings to nothing and noone except Him. I have long had this desire buried in my soul to claim him as Everything and all else nothing.
As I struggled in prayer God revealed to me corners of my heart where I have pocketed people to hold onto as mine or sins to bring out when the situation fits. I found each of my children, my husband, some of my teammates, pride, selfishness, indulgence all sequestered away in areas marked off “my things”. God rebuked me as if to say “You may love these people, but you may not possess them. I don’t want MOST of your heart, I want it all.” And lest I began to think that this was mean-hearted of God, I remembered that I can only be most satisfied and happy when all of me has been surrendered to all of Him. As for the sins, holding onto any of them is hatred towards God. I’m inviting his enemy to dwell in a place that actually belongs to him. He redeemed my heart by the blood of Jesus. When I reserve a place in my heart to convince myself that I own a sin – this is utter foolishness and blasphemy towards God.
So, I asked God to do a thorough cleaning of my heart. I had super-glued some of “my things” to the walls and floors, however, and God in his wisdom began to teach me a lesson. He would help me in the cleaning, but I had some work to do too. I took my hands off the people (this was the struggle in the moment as David’s present case of malaria made him seem to me near death and my children’s maladies were either more severe than before or new sicknesses) and I began to chip away at the super glue with God’s grace pouring solvent on and around the areas that stubbornly resisted removal. At one point I realized that these weren’t actually even the people I had super-glued to the floor of my heart, but only images of them. I guess you could call those idols…. Even though I wasn’t actually possessing these people the images were taking up space so that God wasn’t EVERYTHING.
5 months later my prayer is still the same. Sometimes it escapes from my heart with confidence and joy. Other times I struggle in pain to get the words out because of the battle raging in my soul. And though I am still guilty of affixing images into the walls of my heart from time to time or at least thinking about affixing them again, my heart (which is Christ’s dwelling place…imagine that miracle!) has a cry which continues to silence all the others: “Oh Lord, be EVERYTHING to me!” Back to the scraping and cleaning. I long for the end of time when every beat of my heart for eternity sings “Eve ry thing” as I am face to face with Him forever. AND I long in that same eternal moment to rejoice as all about me, within the bride of Christ, brothers and sisters from every nation, especially Togo and Rwanda gaze upon our bridegroom with their hearts singing the same words. AND the people whom I am tempted to make into images within my heart…that they would also be one with me as Christ’s bride loving Him alone as our everything.
Be EVERYTHING, Lord Jesus, to me. And be EVERYTHING to them.
In case I have readers who check this from time to time and don’t keep up with me on facebook, I finally finished my online Chemistry course and I received an A ! Yeah! I am so thankful that the hard work paid off and that God graciously allowed my brain to kick into gear after a couple of weeks of the course and remember what I was learning and remind me how to study again 
I learned a lot of things. Many of them I will probably not use again on this earth, but others I know will be helpful.
This was my first online course and I think with the online web-based learning homework program that walked the students through the processes of formulas and concepts, I learned much more than I would have learned in a traditional classroom. Chemistry is perhaps the number one class I would have listed under categories of “Least Interest” and I actually found myself enjoying some of the material.
I took this course as a prerequisite for application to a nursing program at the community college in my hometown. There are many factors left in a process of our returning to the states for a short time and then moving to Rwanda over the next few years that will determine if I will even apply for the program. However, it felt good to set out to accomplish a goal and to succeed with the Chemistry course.
Now I’m thinking daily about furlough and the fact that this furlough is the first of our “lasts” here in Togo (our last furlough with returning to Togo). To be honest it has thrown me into a bit of a mind-muddled state. Emotions and logistics and the typical re-entry thoughts I have (trying to remember how to use a debit machine at the grocery store, and going over in my mind how I will obey all traffic laws and not drive in the middle of the road, even if there are no other people or cars around etc.) seem to be a bit more magnified this time. Also, I am physically very tired and almost 3 years of living here straight (with one 2 week break for Hannah, Caleb, and me in August of 07 for my cousin’s wedding) has perhaps been more draining than I’ve realized. However much I have been drained physically and emotionally,though, the Lord has blessed me thousands of times over spiritually with His love, truth, and all sufficiency. These have been a great three years of ministry and fulfilling life here in Togo for our whole family. In some ways it’s hard to leave even for a few months. It marks the end of a season.
But, onward we go in obedience (and happily) for the joy of the Lord is our strength and there is no greater joy than living in love with God. And, if we love Him it is our greatest pleasure of all to obey Him. Where He leads us we will follow.
My oldest child was born a decade ago! Hannah Ruth has made my heart smile for 10 years now and I am so thankful for her! Emotion, drama, tenderness, Divine insight, belly laughs, tradition, family togetherness, intrigue in nature, the spiritual within our grasp and more obvious than we might think, romance: Benny from the Sandlot, Luke from Star Wars, Prince Char from Ella Enchanted, and finally Frodo from Lord of the Rings, jewels, beads, animal figurines, “fat panties” (layering underwear in case she might get a spanking that day),”trash collecting”(collecting others’ leftover things to create inventions), and “mentally ill” (her term for feeling like she can’t think to do school work), back scratches, chicks, kittens, baby goats, baby lambs, baby bunnies, horses, “bunny puppy”, pedicures, foot rubs, lots of hugs and love.
These are some of the many things that come to mind over the last 10 years as I think of my beautiful Hannah.
I praise God for her uniqueness and most of all for her heart that is drawn to, and loves, Him. She is a beautiful creation and I can’t wait to watch how all of these things that make her who she is evolve into the young woman she is becoming. May she bless the world with her gifts and bring much glory to you, God!
Here are some pictures from her 10th birthday party. The Lord even graciously allowed us to have horses that came courtesy of the military
Respite enough on this blessed afternoon to list off (for those who are interested) what has been filling my days these last two months:
1. Skype chats with teammates here in Kara, Rwanda, and in the states
2. Praying for my teammates and our relationships and peace and unity
3. Talking with my teammates about number 2
4. Talking with David about number 2
5. Studying for my on-line Chemistry class
6. Doing online Chemistry labs and interactive homework
7. Praying and talking with the Lord about darkness in my heart
8. Praising Him for making me new
9. Spending scheduled time with each of my children
10. Spending scheduled time with David
11. Mentoring and studying with Christianne twice a month as we go through 1 Corinithians
12. Mentoring and studying with Mazalo every week as we study through Acts
13. Cooking meals (mostly dinners) and hosting strangers and teammates and teachers in our home
14. Re-arranging furniture and getting rid of some things
15. Planning furlough schedules and starting to make lists of what we need to replace/buy
16. Asking God how to spend more time with Him regularly
17. Watching once a week some TV shows. This week it was Lost. Last week it was The Office
18. Catching up every few weeks on friends’ blogs
19. Playing with and teaching my kids
20. Trying to take short naps every afternoon
I’m off to pick up the kids at school (Dave got a moto for the well work, btw so I have the car in town more often when he’s out in the village. This has been an extra blessing)
This post is coming a month late, but I still want to share some wonderful things about Elijah! My second child and oldest son recently passed his 8th Birthday anniversary. He was born in Lome’ Togo on Togo’s national independance day. On the day he was born, the doctor was out at a celebration and couldn’t hear his cell phone ringing from our many urgent calls. He did finally arrive at the hospital 45 minutes before Elijah David made his appearance. Unlike many other foreign white peoples’ experiences at a Togolese hospital, his birth went fairly unnoticed as the hospital was understaffed with only 2 nurses on duty that day and our late arriving doctor. After giving birth to him I made the walk up two flights of stairs with the material I had bought from the market and sanitized myself still bundled between my legs. We set up a mosquito net over my bed and the little bassinet where Elijah would lay and I spent the next two wonderful, peaceful days in communion with the Lord and nursing and enjoying my sweet baby boy, just as wonderful and so very different from his older sister. My mother arrived the night he was born and she and David helped take care of Hannah and do all of the paper work with the embassy for Elijah’s birth. Sandi Wright (Haustein) was also there to watch Hannah for us as I was giving birth. The Neals were also nearby as Jane gave birth to Peter just the day before! We were surrounded by many people that are still so dear to us.
Each morning during my hospital stay I opened the window in my room and watched the birds in the trees next to me, rested, read a book Patty Slack had given me on noble women of God (I think), read my Bible, and marveled at God’s goodness towards me. Many other things happened following this time and preceding this time that were difficult, stressful, and disheartening as we lived out our first year in Togo, but these 2 days were a sweet gracious gift from God. They symbolize the quiet peace that I feel even today if I receive the opportunity to hang out alone with Elijah.
Here are my 8 reasons to celebrate his life as I think about the baby, child, and young man who are this wonderful person I found belonging to me: my first son. 1. His kindness towards those who need his help 2. His introspective and thoughtful nature 3. His “matter of fact”, and at the same time creative, ability to solve every day problems 4. His quick mind that understands most academic concepts easily 5. His shy, private nature 6. His vulnerable, sensitive side that he shows only when he feels completely safe in every other area 7. His attention to detail when he organizes an area or dresses something or someone up 8. His passionate heart that loves the things of God…similar things and in a similar manner as his father.
We celebrated Elijah’s birthday at Pendjari Game Park where we camped over the weekend of his birthday. We saw 5 elephants very up close on the morning of his birthday which was a special treat for him (and the rest of us). The next weekend we had a birthday party with our teammates and friends Esowe and family and his chosen theme was Game Cube. We had a cook out in the yard and the children played game cube for a couple hours of the afternoon.
I praise you God for Elijah. He is such a wonderful gift to me! Happy Birthday E !
I am taking my first college course since 1997. It is an on-line Chemistry course (with lab) through Oregon State University. It is a course that I haven’t thought of since my sophomore year in high school – 1991 (the one and only time I took Chemistry)
I’m having to use algebra again, which I might have used in my “Math in the Elementary” class at Harding for my BA in Elementary Ed (I can’t remember), but that was in 1994.
So….I’m a little rusty. I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to figure out how to use a function on my scientific calculator. I still haven’t figured it out. So, I sheepishly emailed my instructor to see if he could help this “old lady” figure out how to do algebra again.
I just realized I’m one of those old people (there were usually one or two of them in my education classes at Harding) that were “non-traditional students” They were probably the age I am now, but I thought they were so old back then….
Now I know why they seemed so interested in what we were learning, but a little slow on remembering how to do assignments and take tests.
At least I can chuckle at myself. I am more interested in Chemistry this second time around. I’m mostly interested in getting an A though, to be completely honest. I need a 4.0 in this class to help boost my admissions entrance score for a nursing program I hope to apply for in the near future. We’ll see how it goes…. Even if the nursing program doesn’t work out soon, at least I’m learning how to learn formally again! (And I guess that’s worth the $1040.00 this class is costing!)
I would like to put a lot of thought into this subject through writing at some point, but for now I just offer an example that has made me cry today from grief. I just found out this morning that a neighborhood lady down our street who has had a fairly successful (by Togolese standards) tailoring business died on Christmas Day. I had noticed that her business was closed, but assumed she had gone to visit relatives for the holidays. Our house helper, Aimee, asked on the 23rd where she was and her next door neighbor said she was sick. She went in to see her and found her to be very sick and lethargic. She asked her why she hadn’t been to the doctor and her elderly mother and daughter said she would be ok and get better soon. Aimee realized later that they simply didn’t have the money to pay for a doctor’s visit. Aimee gave them what extra she had (the equivalent of about 2 US dollars) and told her to go to the doctor.
On the 24th she went to a clinic (I don’t know where), they gave her some injection, and then on the 26th and 27th Aimee asked after her and her family said she’d “gone out”. Yesterday, she asked after her again and she found out that she had actually died and been buried quietly on the 25th.
Our smiling neighborhood seamstress made a shirt and fixed a skirt for Hannah two months ago. I had promised to bring her material after the new year to make an African dress for me. I have waved at her and greeted her for 2 years every time I walk or drive up and down our road. I asked her for her name and she told me a month ago, but I don’t remember it now.
I am filled with regret that when I noticed her business was closed I didn’t ask after her and help her get to better medical care. I am very saddened that she died in a way that seems so needless. I am more saddened and frustrated by the mindset that poverty infuses in people that barely make enough to get by and support their family. This thinking is present even in people like our neighborhood seamstress who seemed to be thriving. I am hurt and burdened that many people don’t see any options for getting out of their present condition of sickness or disease and I am upset (in compassion) that so many individuals just helplessly wait to die. I am angry at the poor level of care given by incompetent doctors that recklessly prescribe medicines or give injections and whose actions result in people dying soon after receiving their assistance.
Life is treated recklessly and with little value here by so many. On a positive note, I have noticed the difference in many others who are followers of Jesus. He is changing (and has changed) their outlooks on life and its sanctity. Praise God!
What I have witnessed over the past 8 1/2 years is that poverty runs deep: physically, mentally, and spiritually. Oh, Lord, help!
Help those who are, and those who feel, helpless. Help me to see the poverty of flesh, mind, and spirit and find a way to respond. Help me somehow be more a part of the way you want to deliver the people all around me who live in this condition.
